Sunday, April 03, 2005
The Down-The-Pan Daleks
Coinciding neatly with the first episode of the new Doctor Who, I've found a transcript in an old teenage notebook of one of the brilliant Dalek sketches which were on the Steve Wright In The Afternoon show when he was still on Radio 1 in the 1980's:
(Loud Dalek voices): WE ARE THE DALEKS!!!
Dalek 1: No we're not, no we're not - we're just innocent, God-fearing citizens...la, la, laaa...
Dalek 2 (suspiciously): What have you done?
D1: You know the gas man was coming to read the meter?
D2: Ye-eess...
D1: I forgot, and he... he startled me.
D2: Which one did he look like then?
D1: He was a bit Tom Baker-ish. He's in pieces on the floor. I think he's dead.
D2: As a rule, when one is in pieces one IS dead. You HAVE to get over this irritational paranoia that everyone is Doctor Who! The milkman has his head zapped clean off, because he was a little on the Patrick Troughton-ish side. The lollipop lady, heaven knows why, reminded you of Jon Pertwee and the poll tax collector ended up a steaming pile of goo on the doorstep!
D1: I just felt like nuking him...
D2: It's got to stop!
(Door opens)
D1: Aaagh! Peter Davison!!
(ZAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!)
D2: Er - no - Jehovah's Witnesses...
D1: Oh, nice one!
(Both) LEAVE IT.
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Coinciding neatly with the first episode of the new Doctor Who, I've found a transcript in an old teenage notebook of one of the brilliant Dalek sketches which were on the Steve Wright In The Afternoon show when he was still on Radio 1 in the 1980's:
(Loud Dalek voices): WE ARE THE DALEKS!!!
Dalek 1: No we're not, no we're not - we're just innocent, God-fearing citizens...la, la, laaa...
Dalek 2 (suspiciously): What have you done?
D1: You know the gas man was coming to read the meter?
D2: Ye-eess...
D1: I forgot, and he... he startled me.
D2: Which one did he look like then?
D1: He was a bit Tom Baker-ish. He's in pieces on the floor. I think he's dead.
D2: As a rule, when one is in pieces one IS dead. You HAVE to get over this irritational paranoia that everyone is Doctor Who! The milkman has his head zapped clean off, because he was a little on the Patrick Troughton-ish side. The lollipop lady, heaven knows why, reminded you of Jon Pertwee and the poll tax collector ended up a steaming pile of goo on the doorstep!
D1: I just felt like nuking him...
D2: It's got to stop!
(Door opens)
D1: Aaagh! Peter Davison!!
(ZAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!)
D2: Er - no - Jehovah's Witnesses...
D1: Oh, nice one!
(Both) LEAVE IT.
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